Procure Inc to Launch Lunar Delivery Service
“The Moon is where I see the real future of industrial and home comfort products.”Procure Inc, Lead Salseman Scott
Today, Procure Inc is taking the next step forward in delivering a truly remarkable experience to our customers. We have finalized designs for a warehouse on the moon. This is the next logical step for us. NASA has plans to build a moon base, we see the private sector following them, the realestate up there is incredibly cheap at this time, and we believe space based operations will cut our delivery times in half with rocket-based delivery. Rockets can reach thousands of miles per second in the depths of space, sufficient to leave airplanes in the dust.
“We dare to go to the moon, it’s just the best move for us.”Procure Inc, Spokesman
Critics of the move have pointed to the extreme cold temperatures experienced on the moon, to which we say: “sounds like free cooling for our warehouse if you ask me. What’s wrong with an environmentally sustainable cooling system?”
There are a number of unknowns at this point. We’re not sure what the crime rates are going to be like in our new neighborhood. Our analysts have been concerned about the speed of internet access and whether the next season of the Expanse will be available on the moon. The only major concern however, company-wide, has been convincing Scott not to name his moon-jeep Enterprise, given that starship family’s typically firey end.
If you’ve read this far and still believe us, April Fools, from Procure Inc.
Have a safe and happy April fools day.
Categories: Special Events